Introduction to adultery
Christianity brought to the world a mighty revolution to the view of sex, not only to pagan religions but also to Judaism. While Judaism had an outstanding view of sex that emphasized the sanctity of marriage, it had a permissive attitude to particular types of sexual misconduct specifically for men.
The Old Testament outrightly condemns adultery, and it is punishable by death. Here is the Old Testament view of adultery:
1. Adultery is when any man (married or unmarried) has sex with a woman married to another man.
2. Adultery is when a married woman has sex with any other man other than her own husband.
Therefore, the Old Testament view of adultery focuses on defiling another man’s wife, or a wife who goes away to another man leaving her husband. A husband was permitted to divorce his wife if she committed adultery. This permission crosses to the New Testament, although Jesus seems to be addressing this question in the context of Judaism as the tone still focuses on the infidelity of a woman rather than that of a man. (Matthew 19:1 -11)
In this context it seems that a man may put away his wife if she has been unfaithful to him, but there is no permission for a woman to put away her husband if he has been unfaithful to her. In fact, a woman divorcing a husband wouldn’t be in discussion in this context because women had no power to divorce a man. Marriage was not just a physical and emotional union, it was a social and economic structure through which women earned a living. It is the unfaithfulness of a wife and not of a husband that is under question in the context of Matthew 19.
However, Malachi chapter two addresses men who were unfaithful to their wives and calls them to repentance.
YAHWEH would not answer the prayers or receive the offerings of men who were unfaithful to their wives.
’Here is another thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.’ Malachi 2:3, 14
But even in the context of Malachi, a man’s unfaithfulness was not necessarily sexual but negligence, with a specific focus on economic or financial negligence. YAHWEH is a witness between you (the husband) and the wife of of your youth whom “you have dealt with treacherously.” The more accurate rendering is in the Septuagint which states “whom thou has deserted.” A man was unfaithful to his wife when he deprived her of food, shelter, clothes and sex. YAHWEH warned men who deprived their wives of their rights of marriage. Sex was not just for pleasure but for procreation. Women found comfort in their sons in event that they were widowed or divorced.
Depriving a wife of sex was denying her the rare honour of having sons that may take care of her in an event that she loses her husband. Remember that women had no inheritance in the Jewish nation. Therefore, in the context of the Old Testament the marital unfaithfulness of a man differed significantly with the marital unfaithfulness of a woman. For a woman, marital unfaithfulness was when she went out to another man. This was enough ground for her expulsion from the marriage, and being executed for the crime committed. A married woman who had sex with another man did not just lose her marriage, she lost her life.
A man was considered unfaithful if he took another woman and abandoned the earlier woman. If a man had sex with a woman who is not married, that was not considered as adultery. In most cases he would just be compelled to take that one as an additional wife. The Old Testament also shows a permissive attitude to men picking up prostitutes. Of course Proverbs warns that this kind of sexual indulgence leads to poverty, while adultery (sex with another man’s wife) is punishable by death. According to Proverbs those who have sex with prostitutes and those who commit adultery are both fools, although it is only adultery (sex with another man’s wife) which is punishable (Proverbs 6:20-35). One who has sex with prostitutes is only in danger of poverty like the sluggards, drunkards and the gluttons.
This Scripture below explains the unfaithfulness of a man to his wife. Note that the focus of discussion in this passage is on a female servant who gets married to her master or the son of her master.
“If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of food, clothing, and marital rights. If he does not provide her with these three things, she is free, without any payment of money.” (Exodus 21:10-11)
A man was being unfaithful to his wife if he deprived her of these three things:
(i) Food;
(ii) Shelter/Clothes and;
(iii) Sex.
If a man had a concubine (today’s version of a mistress) or a second wife but continued to provide food, shelter/clothes and sex for his first wife he was not considered unfaithful. This testifies to the fact the Old Testament had aspects of permissiveness for men to seek sex beyond the confinement of marriage. The Old Testament marriage was designed in such a way that it provided some form of economic/ financial security for a woman. Marriage gave women a social status and financial security. Nevertheless, the Old Testament was forthright in its advocacy for marital fidelity for the covenant community (the Israelites).
YAHWEH expected sexual purity for his people and provided a very high sexual moral code for the covenant community. Adultery and other forms of sexual depravity were punishable by death. The other forms of sexual misconduct forbidden in the Old Testament included homosexuality, bestiality and incest. In the Old Testament, marriage was itself a form of economic survival for a women. A woman who was unmarried was considered destitute, especially if she had no father, brother or son to take care of her. That’s why the Levirate Marriage played a significant role to keep the widowed wife within the family of her husband by marrying her off to a kinsman redeemer like we see in the story of Ruth who got married to Boaz after the death of her husband.
Divorce
Divorcing one’s wife just for any trivial reason subjected her to harsh economic conditions and brought social shame upon her. This explains why our Lord Jesus insisted that no man was to divorce his wife for just any other reason apart from infidelity. Jesus was advocating for women when he insisted that a man must never divorce his wife for any reason other than marital unfaithfulness. Even in this case, the New Testament emphasises repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation. It pleases God when a couple can find healing, forgiveness and reconciliation after infidelity. Divorce was a form of torture unleashed on women by men. Malachi declared that “God hates divorce.”
In the New Testament mercy takes pre-eminence over punishment. This means even in cases where a wife has been unfaithful to her marriage vows, the first attempt should be to allow repentance, offer forgiveness and make effort for the restoration of marriage. It is better to forgive than to divorce.
Summary
It is important to note that the Old Testament presents a consistent ethic of sexual conduct centred on the sanctity of marriage, faithfulness and the importance of maintaining sexual purity within the context of marriage. Proverbs 6 admonishes men to drink water from their own cisterns and never to let their springs overflow in the streets.
Generally both men and women are required by the Old Testament to stay faithful and to uphold the sanctity of marriage.
By JPC Ntuntu
